Writing thank you cards and notes is starting to become a lost art. We still send thank you cards after a wedding, but for most other occasions, technology seems to have taken over. Most people prefer to send a quick text, Facebook message or email to thank someone instead.
But what about when it comes to our children? Most of us probably remember our parents forcing us to write thank you cards or notes to our relatives after receiving a birthday present.
Chances are, you probably didn’t appreciate being made to do this at the time. It felt like a real chore. But hopefully, it taught you a valuable lesson about being grateful to others – and you have grown into a kind, considerate adult as a result.
Now, as a parent yourself, you’re wondering whether you should you make your children write thank you notes, even if they don’t want to. Is it worth all the complaining and dragging of the feet? Or should you not bother, in today’s digital world? Today, we’re going to discuss this question and go through the pros and cons so that you can decide for yourself.
Why Should You Encourage Your Child to Write Thank You Notes?
Showing appreciation to others is one of the most important lessons that we can teach our children. Sending a thank you card is a great way to introduce them to the importance of showing gratitude for the things they receive in life.
In fact, for anyone – young or old – thank you notes are a great way to strengthen relationships. The art of writing down what you’re thankful for on paper helps improve self-esteem and your physical health.
Here are some of the many reasons why it’s a good idea to make your kids write thank you notes.
Thank You Cards Teach Kids to Appreciate What They Have
It can be argued that children these days have it easier than past generations, in many ways. And sometimes, it makes them forget to be grateful for what (and who) they have.
As a parent, it’s very important to teach your children about gratitude, and you can do that by modelling the behaviour you want them to display. When they see you appreciate people and things in your life, it’s easier for them to embrace the same behaviour.
Writing a simple thank you card for someone is one of the easiest ways to teach your children the gift of gratitude and allow them to be more mindful of what they have. If they receive a gift, for instance, ask them about what they think about and have them put it down on paper.
Thank You Cards Help Kids Express Their Creativity
These days, many children spend more time on gadgets than on physically creative pursuits such as writing. Teaching them the art of writing thank you notes allow them to foster their creativity in a more organic way.
They can dress up and personalise their thank you cards to add a personal touch to them. Writing also helps them to express their emotions and thoughts better, especially those who have a hard time doing so.
They Teach Children to Respect Others
When you appreciate someone, you’re also showing them your respect. Writing a thank you note is a simple way of teaching your children how to respect other people and their feelings.
It’s essential to let them embrace the beauty of gratitude at an early age, so they can grow up as responsible and loving adults in the future.
You can start teaching this even from infancy by writing the main message yourself, and having your little one “sign” their name with a finger print!
Help Children Develop Their Writing Skills
Children who are just learning to read and write need all the practise they can get – and what better way to develop their writing skills than by writing simple thank you notes?
Your children will enjoy writing notes because they can freely express their thoughts and be creative as compared to an ordinary writing practice. You can also ask them to read their notes aloud to you afterwards, to help them practice reading.
When Is It OK Not to Send a Thank You Card?
Although a thank you note is always a welcoming gesture, there are also times when it’s not necessary—or appropriate—to write one.
When It Becomes a Chore
It’s very important to teach your children that gratitude is a responsibility. But you also need to draw the line between being grateful and being forced to write something against their will. Writing a thank you note should never be a chore, so if it feels like it, don’t force your children to do it.
However, you can (and should) gently explain to them why it’s so important, and let them reconsider their decision. Ask your child to imagine how they’d feel if they spent ages picking out a gift for someone, only to not receive a “thank you”. This can help teach empathy.
They’ve Already Said “Thank You” In Person
If your child was given a gift in person, and they’ve already said “thank you” to the gift giver face-to-face, then it’s not necessary for them to write a thank you note (unless they want to).
The only exception is when the child did not open their gift in front of the gift giver. For example, when they were given a present a few days before their birthday, and told not to open it until the big day. Then, even if they said “thank you” when they were handed their gift, t’s still appropriate to send a thank you card after they’ve opened it.
When Children Are Swapping Gifts
As a general rule, you’re not required to send a thank you note during gift exchanges because you’re basically returning the gesture with your own gift. But while it’s not necessary, this doesn’t mean you have to skip the opportunity to write a thank you note altogether. If your child wants to write one, let them!
Tips on Having Your Child Write Thank You Cards
There are a few things that you need to remind your children when they’re writing thank you cards.
Timeliness Is Essential
It’s important to practice writing a thank you note right after receiving a gift. This will make the note feel more sincere and you can make sure that it gets to the recipient in a timely manner.
It’s good practice to have your children write their notes before using their gift or within a pre-defined number of days.
One tip is to have your child write the cards as they open each gift. That way, they won’t forget who gave them which gift – and it will get it out of the way quickly!
Personalise the Message
Whether it’s for teacher’s appreciation day or to show appreciation for someone who gave them a gift, you need to tell your children to create their thank you note with their recipient in mind. They can be as creative as they want with this – the important thing is that it shouldn’t feel forced, or though they’ve copied the same thing into every card.
For example, teach your child to mention the specific gift, and how excited they are to use it – or if they were given cash, to mention what they might spend it on.
Model Writing Thank You Cards Yourself
Don’t just let your children write their own thank you notes. Make it a family tradition to write regularly to people who’ve shown kindness to you. Modelling is still the best way to teach your children to love the art of writing these thank you notes.
Have Plenty of Thank You Cards on Hand
You don’t want to run out of thank you cards around the house if you want your children to write regularly to people they’re grateful for. This is why it’s very important to have a stock of thank you cards ready for them to use at any time, and bring them out on Christmas and birthdays.
The art of writing thank you notes should never be lost to digital messages. The best way to make sure that this practice lives on for the years to come is to allow our children to make it a part of their lives.
Always have your thank you notes supplies ready, encourage your children through modelling and make it a family habit to always be grateful to the people who’ve touched your lives in one way or another.
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