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Should You Make Your Kids Write Thank You Notes? The Pros and Cons

Writing thank you cards and notes is starting to become a lost art. We still send thank you cards after a wedding, but for most other occasions, technology seems to have taken over. Most people prefer to send a quick text, Facebook message or email to thank someone instead.

But what about when it comes to our children? Most of us probably remember our parents forcing us to write thank you cards or notes to our relatives after receiving a birthday present.

Chances are, you probably didn’t appreciate being made to do this at the time. It felt like a real chore. But hopefully, it taught you a valuable lesson about being grateful to others – and you have grown into a kind, considerate adult as a result.

Now, as a parent yourself, you’re wondering whether you should you make your children write thank you notes, even if they don’t want to. Is it worth all the complaining and dragging of the feet? Or should you not bother, in today’s digital world? Today, we’re going to discuss this question and go through the pros and cons so that you can decide for yourself.

Why Should You Encourage Your Child to Write Thank You Notes?

Showing appreciation to others is one of the most important lessons that we can teach our children. Sending a thank you card is a great way to introduce them to the importance of showing gratitude for the things they receive in life.
In fact, for anyone – young or old – thank you notes are a great way to strengthen relationships. The art of writing down what you’re thankful for on paper helps improve self-esteem and your physical health.
Here are some of the many reasons why it’s a good idea to make your kids write thank you notes.

Thank You Cards Teach Kids to Appreciate What They Have

It can be argued that children these days have it easier than past generations, in many ways. And sometimes, it makes them forget to be grateful for what (and who) they have.
As a parent, it’s very important to teach your children about gratitude, and you can do that by modelling the behaviour you want them to display. When they see you appreciate people and things in your life, it’s easier for them to embrace the same behaviour.

Writing a simple thank you card for someone is one of the easiest ways to teach your children the gift of gratitude and allow them to be more mindful of what they have. If they receive a gift, for instance, ask them about what they think about and have them put it down on paper.

Thank You Cards Help Kids Express Their Creativity

These days, many children spend more time on gadgets than on physically creative pursuits such as writing. Teaching them the art of writing thank you notes allow them to foster their creativity in a more organic way.
They can dress up and personalise their thank you cards to add a personal touch to them. Writing also helps them to express their emotions and thoughts better, especially those who have a hard time doing so.

They Teach Children to Respect Others

When you appreciate someone, you’re also showing them your respect. Writing a thank you note is a simple way of teaching your children how to respect other people and their feelings.
It’s essential to let them embrace the beauty of gratitude at an early age, so they can grow up as responsible and loving adults in the future.
You can start teaching this even from infancy by writing the main message yourself, and having your little one “sign” their name with a finger print!

Help Children Develop Their Writing Skills

Children who are just learning to read and write need all the practise they can get – and what better way to develop their writing skills than by writing simple thank you notes?
Your children will enjoy writing notes because they can freely express their thoughts and be creative as compared to an ordinary writing practice. You can also ask them to read their notes aloud to you afterwards, to help them practice reading.

When Is It OK Not to Send a Thank You Card?

Although a thank you note is always a welcoming gesture, there are also times when it’s not necessary—or appropriate—to write one.

When It Becomes a Chore

It’s very important to teach your children that gratitude is a responsibility. But you also need to draw the line between being grateful and being forced to write something against their will. Writing a thank you note should never be a chore, so if it feels like it, don’t force your children to do it.

However, you can (and should) gently explain to them why it’s so important, and let them reconsider their decision. Ask your child to imagine how they’d feel if they spent ages picking out a gift for someone, only to not receive a “thank you”. This can help teach empathy.

They’ve Already Said “Thank You” In Person

If your child was given a gift in person, and they’ve already said “thank you” to the gift giver face-to-face, then it’s not necessary for them to write a thank you note (unless they want to).

The only exception is when the child did not open their gift in front of the gift giver. For example, when they were given a present a few days before their birthday, and told not to open it until the big day. Then, even if they said “thank you” when they were handed their gift, t’s still appropriate to send a thank you card after they’ve opened it.

When Children Are Swapping Gifts

As a general rule, you’re not required to send a thank you note during gift exchanges because you’re basically returning the gesture with your own gift. But while it’s not necessary, this doesn’t mean you have to skip the opportunity to write a thank you note altogether. If your child wants to write one, let them!

Tips on Having Your Child Write Thank You Cards

There are a few things that you need to remind your children when they’re writing thank you cards.

Timeliness Is Essential

It’s important to practice writing a thank you note right after receiving a gift. This will make the note feel more sincere and you can make sure that it gets to the recipient in a timely manner.
It’s good practice to have your children write their notes before using their gift or within a pre-defined number of days.
One tip is to have your child write the cards as they open each gift. That way, they won’t forget who gave them which gift – and it will get it out of the way quickly!

Personalise the Message

Whether it’s for teacher’s appreciation day or to show appreciation for someone who gave them a gift, you need to tell your children to create their thank you note with their recipient in mind. They can be as creative as they want with this – the important thing is that it shouldn’t feel forced, or though they’ve copied the same thing into every card.
For example, teach your child to mention the specific gift, and how excited they are to use it – or if they were given cash, to mention what they might spend it on.

Model Writing Thank You Cards Yourself

Don’t just let your children write their own thank you notes. Make it a family tradition to write regularly to people who’ve shown kindness to you. Modelling is still the best way to teach your children to love the art of writing these thank you notes.

Have Plenty of Thank You Cards on Hand

You don’t want to run out of thank you cards around the house if you want your children to write regularly to people they’re grateful for. This is why it’s very important to have a stock of thank you cards ready for them to use at any time, and bring them out on Christmas and birthdays.

The art of writing thank you notes should never be lost to digital messages. The best way to make sure that this practice lives on for the years to come is to allow our children to make it a part of their lives.
Always have your thank you notes supplies ready, encourage your children through modelling and make it a family habit to always be grateful to the people who’ve touched your lives in one way or another.

For beautiful, professionally printed and affordable thank you cards, head to 123Print. We have a range of different thank you card designs suitable for any occasion. All of our templates can be edited for free online, so you can adapt the wording to your personal taste, or even add a photo!

Personal Thank You Note

Do You Have to Send Thank You Cards After a Birthday Party?

It used to be the case that after any birthday party, be it a children’s party or an adult’s 50th shin-dig, the ‘done thing’ to do would be to send out a ream of thank-you notes after the event. These are designed to express gratitude to everyone who came and/or brought gifts.
However, in the age of mobile technology the art of the hand-written note seems to have fallen out of favour. Many people now, rather than sending out hand-written thank-you notes, will instead send texts or emails thanking people for the pleasure of their company. You can see why. Hand-writing numerous thank-you notes can be a bit of a time-consuming task!

However, we think it’s still important, even in this more digital era, to send out thank you cards after a birthday party – whether you’re young or old. Today, we’re going to explain the benefits of sending thank you cards, and discuss the proper thank you card etiquette.

What’s the Point of Sending Thank You Cards?

We all know how important it is to show our appreciation for the important people in our lives.
Many people enjoy and appreciate the personal, thoughtful touch that a hand-written note conveys. There’s just something so nice about opening a physical card that someone has taken the time to choose, design and write just for you.

Having your kids write thank you cards after their birthday has the additional benefit of teaching them gratitude and good manners – important skills that they’ll take far in life.
But expressing gratitude (as opposed to just feeling it) is more than just politeness. Receiving a thoughtful and genuine ‘thank-you’ triggers positive responses in the brain. In other words, the time and effort that it takes to write a brief thank-you note could really make someone’s day.

Personalised thank you cards make an even bigger impression – because you’ve taken the time to design them yourself, rather than just grabbing a generic card from a supermarket shelf.

When Should You Send Thank You Cards?

Here are some examples of occasions when it might be appropriate to send a thank you card.
1) After hosting a large party (e.g. a landmark birthday or anniversary) which your guests had to book time off work or travel some distance to attend
2) After any party where guests brought gifts – e.g., a kid’s birthday party or a Christmas party
3) When anyone has given you a gift for any reason (even if there was no party)
4) After your wedding, bridal shower or baby shower
5) When someone has done you a favour, for example they allowed you to borrow a household item, or they ran an errand for you to help you out

Essentially, if you feel thankful for someone who’s gone out of their way to help you or give you something, a thank you card would be the perfect way to show it.

Do You Always Have to Send Thank You Cards After a Birthday Party?

Birthday parties are the classic example of when you should send a thank you card. When people have taken time out of the day to attend your birthday celebration, sending thank you cards to everyone who attended is not only appropriate, but expected. This goes double if they bought you a gift!

Sending thank you cards after your birthday, whether you’re young or old, is a great way to practise expressing gratitude. Your recipients will be so grateful that you’ve taken the time to write them a personalised note, and this can help foster your relationship with them.
In the digital age we are living in it is now more commonplace to send “thank yous” in a digital format, which may be acceptable in some situations. For example, at very casual, last-minute-put-together gatherings at which no gifts were exchanged, it may be appropriate to send a thank you text.

The actual thanks is the important thing after all. However, the thought that goes into a hand-written thank you card should not be underestimated.

What Should You Write in a Birthday Thank You Card?

What you write in a birthday thank-you card depends on who you are sending it to and who is writing it!
If your child is writing a card, keep it nice and simple. For example:
Dear Joe,
Thank you for coming to my party, I had a great time and hope you did too!
Thank you for my new remote-control car – I love it!
From Sam
If your child is old enough, it’s also a great idea to mention something they like about the gift, or in the case of money, how they’re planning to spend it.
However, if you are writing the note yourself then you may choose to be informal or formal depending on the occasion and how well you know the recipient. Here are some examples.

Formal

Dear Samantha,
Thank you so much for the pleasure of your company at my recent birthday celebration. I hope you enjoyed the event as much as I did.
Thank you also for the incredibly thoughtful gift. The photo frame is simply beautiful and looks lovely on my mantle. Your kindness is very much appreciated.
I hope to see you again soon.
Best wishes,
Sharon

Informal

Dear Suzie,
Thank you so much for coming to my birthday party last Saturday. I had a blast and it was so great to see you again.
Thanks also for the Starbucks gift card. You really shouldn’t have. I can’t wait to spend it on fancy coffees!
Let’s get together for brunch soon!
(Love) from Emily

What If the Birthday Party Guests Didn’t Bring Gifts?

Depending on the nature of the occasion some guests at birthday parties may not feel that it is necessary to bring gifts. Indeed, many adults are genuinely content with the pleasure of their friends and family’s company, and would not expect a gift.
If you are going out for informal drinks for a your birthday, for example, and have extended the invitation to work colleagues and acquaintances, they probably won’t bring gifts. In this scenario, while you certainly can send thank you cards if you wish, they wouldn’t be expected.

If you held a intimate gathering and some of the guests didn’t bring gifts then you should still be courteous and thank the guests for the pleasure of their company. They have still made an effort to come and spend time with you, after all. It’s still polite to send a note thanking them for attending. This goes for kids’ birthday parties and adults’ alike.
After all, presumably you are having a party to celebrate the occasion with people you like, not just to get presents. They have still made an effort by the very fact that they are there!
If you’re sending a thank you card to someone who didn’t bring a gift, here’s an example of wording you might use.

Dear Jackie,
Thank you so much for coming to my recent 40th birthday party. It was so lovely to see you again and I had so much fun. I really appreciate you taking the time to celebrate with me.
I hope to see you again very soon!
Laura

How Soon After a Birthday Party Should You Send Thank You Cards?

If you choose to send thank-you notes after a birthday celebration then send them as soon after the event as possible. That way, you can be sure that you will remember what gifts each person has given you.

This will allow you to personalise the card by mentioning the specific gift they got you. The memory of the party will still be fresh in your mind, so you can also mention a special moment you shared with each guest.
The sooner you can send a thank you note the more personal and thoughtful it seems for the recipient. If you leave it too long, your party guests may think you’ve forgotten about them, or aren’t bothered thanking them – and this could leave a sour taste in their mouth.
However, if you had a large party with lots of guests, or you’ve got a very busy life, then your guests will completely understand if it takes a while for them to receive their thank you.
In any case, aim to send out your cards no later than four weeks after the event.

Where Can I Order Personalised Thank You Cards?

Although any thank-you is better than none, a generic pre-printed card is not as thoughtful as a personalised card, even if it is really brief.
It is much more pleasing to receive a personal note than a mass produced one. If you include specific details such as a special time you shared at the party, and mention the gift that they gave you, it will mean a great deal to the recipient.

You can order professionally printed, personalised thank you cards from 123Print. We’re an experienced UK-based printing company specialising in greetings cards and business stationery, and we stock hundreds of thank you card designs. We have templates suitable for weddings, birthdays, and any other occasion when you might want to say thanks.
Once you’ve chosen your favourite thank you card design, simply click on it to begin the customisation process. You can add your own text, upload pictures from your device, and alter the font style and colour. Make sure to leave room to add a handwritten message to each recipient!

Our thank you cards can be ordered in quantities of up to 120 – so why not order extra to have on hand for emergencies?